Sarni's Scrolls: NFL's Merry Nick-mas was Fun

Raiders defensive tackle Bilal Nichols, the NVP of Las Vegas' stunning 20-14 upset of the Kansas City Chiefs on Christmas Day, was asked what he was going to do with the container of slime that goes with the award.

"I'm going to slime my girlfriend and daughter when I get home," Nichols told teenage sideline reporter Dylan Schefter, the daughter of ESPN's Adam Schefter.

Nickelodeon's Nickmas Game alternate telecast of the CBS broadcast was a blast.

■ A candy cane first down line.

■ Cannons fired slime across the end zone after touchdowns.

■ Yetis celebrated the holiday by hurling snowballs across the stadium.

■ The Nickmas blimp swooped down with its claw and hooked Chiefs coach Andy Reid, carrying him over to the command center for a pep talk. CGI, folks.

Wonderful, hilarious, crazy stuff.

Noah Eagle and Nate Burleson were joined on the broadcast by Raphael (voiced by Brady Noon) and Donatello (Micah Abbey) from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

They rarely missed the opportunity to fire off a pun or Taylor Swift song reference. After Travis Kelce dropped a pass, Burleson quipped "He's going to have to shake it off."

Good news: Nickelodeon will return with an alternate telecast of the Super Bowl on CBS in February. Minus the snowballs.

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The NFL said it will not play on Christmas when the holiday falls on a Tuesday or Wednesday.

Next year, Christmas lands on Wednesday.

NBC's Mike Florio believes the NFL will reconsider that stand. He wrote on Profootballtalk.com:

"It won't be easy to schedule. It might require, for example, having the six Christmas teams play the prior Thursday and/or Friday. Or perhaps it will require a more creative use of bye weeks, giving the Christmas teams the prior weekend off.

"Whatever it takes. However it takes it. The league already has shown that it can play games on Tuesday and Wednesday during the pandemic. There's no way the owners will want to surrender the TV territory it has seized from the NBA."

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The bowl season enters the After-Christmas Phase, Part 1: Weekday Bowls. Over the next three days, there are 11 games, featuring seven ranked teams and several announcers and sideline reporters you've never heard of ... but let's give them some holiday love.

Tuesday

■ Quick Lane: Bowling Green (+3.5) vs. Minnesota, 2, ESPN (Connor Onion, Dustin Fox, Tori Petri).

■ First Responders: Texas St. (-3.5) vs. Rice, 5:30, ESPN (Dave Neal, Aaron Murray, Morgan Uber).

■ Guaranteed Rate: Kansas (-13) vs. UNLV, 9. ESPN (Beth Mowins, Kirk Morrison, Stormy Buonantony).

Wednesday

■ Military: Virginia Tech (-10.5) vs. Tulane, 2, ESPN (Jay Alter, Rene Ingolia, Alex Chappell).

■ Mayo: North Carolina (+6.5) vs. W. Virginia, 5, ESPN (Matt Barry, Dan Mullen

■ Holiday: Louisville (-7) vs. USC, 8, Fox (Gus Johnson, Joel Klatt, Jenny Taft).

■ Texas: Texas A&M (-2) vs. Oklahoma St., 9, ESPN (Roy Philpott, Roddy Jones, Taylor McGregor).

Thursday

■ Fenway: SMU (-10) vs. Boston College, 11, ESPN (Chris Cotter, Mark Herzlich, Sheree Burgess).

■ Pinstripe: Rutgers (-1) vs. Miami, 2:15, ESPN (Drew Carter, Rod Gilmore, Taylor Davis).

■ Pop-Tarts: NC State (-2.5) vs. Kansas St., 5:45, ESPN (Amish Shroff, Andre Ware, Paul Carcaterra).

■ Alamo: Arizona (-2.5) vs. Oklahoma St., 9:15, ESPN (Tom Hart, Jordan Rodgers, Cole Cubelic).

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Simone Biles was named Associated Press's Female Athlete of the Year for the third time. The gymnast previously won in 2016 and 2019.

Biles (19 votes) won her record eight national championship in July and a sixth world all-around gold in October.

"It still proves to myself and to other people that I can do it, Biles said.

Iowa basketball star Caitlin Clark (15), finished second, followed by Ballon d'Or winner Aitana Bonmati (10), skier Mikeala Shiffrin (9), Las Vegas Aces star A'ja Wilson (9) and U.S. Open champion Coco Gauff (8).

■ Biles has had enough with the jokes about her relationship with her husband, Green Bay Packers defensive back Jonathan Owens, after his recent podcast remarks. "Are y'all done yet?"

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ETC.

■ With two weeks remaining in the NFL regular season, only eight teams, four in each conference, have been eliminated from the playoffs.

■ How could the NFL leave the Dolphins-Ravens showdown as one of 10 regional games on Sunday? CBS will attempt to give the telecast to as much of the country as possible.

■ The Chiefs can not be the AFC No. 1 seed. It will be the Ravens, Dolphins or Browns.

■ Lamar Jackson is 19-1 against NFC teams.

■ Zay Flowers' How The Grinch Stole Christmas TD celebration was brilliant.

■ Baker Mayfield wants to stay in Tampa.

■ Jim Nantz's and Tony Romo's ugly sweaters weren't that ugly.

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■ A DraftKings Sportsbook bettor hit a 14-pick parlay and turned $5 into $489,000.

■ The Patriots are rewarding loyal fans with free general parking.

■ You can get a Taylor's Version NFL Shield sweatshirt.

■ Luka Donic became the sixth youngest NBA player to reach 10,000 career points on Christmas Day.

■ Nikola Jokic left Nike in favor of a multi-year deal with Chinese brand 361 Degrees.

■ FAU is a school-high No. 7 in the AP college basketball Top 25 after beating Arizona.

■ In Charlotte, a real estate developer started naming streets after "Seinfeld" references.

■ Happy Boxing Day.

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THEY SAID IT

■ "I have no problem with the officials themselves. All across the league we have really good officials. I have a problem with the way we are legislating defense out of the game... We're just enabling players to b.s. their way to the foul line." -- Warriors' coach Steve Kerr after Nikola Jokic made 18 free throw in Denver's 120-114 victory.

■ "I'm on cloud nine, if that’s even a thing." -- Patriots QB Bailey Zappe, after leading New England to a 26-23 victory over the Broncos.

■ "I'll be a rock star and then, after that, a cowboy." -- Colts QB Gardner Minshew.

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Jim Sarni, BC Class of '69, is a former sportswriter for The Boston Globe and the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. He resides in Fort Lauderdale and watches a lot of television. If you have a